Lacuna part 4
Seshat (to Kagin): “Good evening! I hope your sexual adventurism has come to a satisfactory conclusion because this is very important!”
Seshat (to T’Reth): “I’m talking to your colleague now. One of the many advantages of a synthetic existance is the ability to co-locate.”
Dr. Wright: “I think this evening is taking a turn for the worse. ‘Honey’.”
Kagin: Well, I suppose that depends on what’s so important
Kagin: (is our portrait already done?)
Kagin: So, what’s so important?
Seshat (to Kagin): “A crime must be commited! Your owner . . . wait, no . . . officer commands it. Your officer commands it.”
Kagin: My officer commands I commit a crime, eh?
T’Reth: (assuming I’m still on the line) “A class 2 sophont is going to be unwillingly entered into indefinite servitude, within Federation protected space. It is our legal, moral, pragmatic obligation to intervene.”
Kagin: That sounds… completely plausible.
T’Reth: “Also, this thing makes an INCREDIBLE appletini. Which I was just introduced to. Logically, further exploration is necessary.”
Dan: Presumably you are talking with him over the communicator while Seshat gives his (less useful) commentary.
Kagin: You’re drinking Appletinis? You’re a girl at heart after all, T’Reth.
Kagin: Okay, so where is this thing being… sold? Stolen? What am I supposed to do here?
T’Reth: “The tastebuds and biochemical response is yours, Kagin. Empirically, you’re a girl at heart.”
Seshat: “I’ll have you know that my Appletinis combine the virtues of over 13,000 recipies.”
T’Reth: “You are to proceed to the auction location and place the winning bid. I am authorizing an unlimited shore-fund account for this mission. Since the Federation is a post-scarcity economy, it’s not like we will miss the currency.”
Dan: Technically, it isn’t yet! Replicators haven’t been invented, so people in the Federation still have money.
T’Reth: “failing that, you are to use deadly force if necessary to retrieve this Seshat entity. I will be standing by with orbital phasers fro support if you need it.”
Seshat (to T’Reth): “I would appreciate it if you did not incinerate my physical components.”
Kagin: Wait, wait. Isn’t this in front of me a “Seshat” entity?
T’Reth: “Since the Federation is an almost, mostly post-scarcity economy, it is not as if we will not really miss that currency to a degree that will make the paperwork onerous on your end.”
Referee: There is a Seshat in front of Kagin. There is also a Seshat in front of T’Reth. Since both bodies are just holograms, it can do this.
T’Reth: “Your first priority is the safe recovery of the Seshat entity’s core physical components. Your secondary objective is not starting a war with this planet.” T’Reth waves her empty glass at Seshat. “YOUR first priority is furnishing my drink with extra olives.”
Dan: Also, this planet is a Fed colony. But, the person selling the goods isn’t a Federation citizen, so there is some need for subterfuge.
T’Reth: T’Reth orders Ensign Recurring to try to get a transporter fix on Seshat’s broadcast location.
T’Reth: Failing a purchase, we will steal.
Seshat (to T’Reth): “More garnishes would ruin the drink!”
T’Reth: “I defer to your judgement.”
Seshat (to T’Reth): “As well you should. I an the distillation of thousands of years of expertise in distillation”
Kagin: Alright, Doc. It looks like we’re going to an auction!
Dr. Wright: “I’ve overjoyed.”
Dr. Wright: “Seriously. I actually like where this is headed much more than how things were looking before.”
Kagin: What, a threesome with a weird alien?
Kagin: I seriously doubt that was actually going to happen.
Dr. Wright: “No. I’ve been down that road before, actually.”
Referee: The ship’s sensors can easily locate Seshat’s hardware once he tells you what forms of energy to look for. It’s in a rather secure warehouse.
T’Reth: We steal it with our space teleporter.
Referee: It is larger than the transporter room, leaving you with a bit of a logistical problem.
Referee: The auction is being held in a kinda ritzy part of town.
Kagin: (do we need dressier clothes?)
Referee: A building called “The Cooler”. Your ‘date’ clothes will work, unless you feel the need for a shopping scene.
T’Reth: “Seshat, you are larger than our transporter.”
T’Reth: (Can’t we just…beam it into the hanger bay?)
Seshat: “Your transporters are built too small. I can’t be blamed for your parsimony!”
Referee: It’d need to materialize briefly. Which would cause some structural problems in the transporter room.
Kagin: If I was up there, I could probably get it to work.
Referee: You could get it onto a cargo shuttle with some equipment.
T’Reth: Wait, this is a Federation colony? Can’t T’Reth just call the local authorities and order them to impound the device on the grounds that it’s a sentient being and can’t be sold?
Referee: You totally can. At the risk of kicking off a diplomatic thing with the owner’s race and totally shooting Section 31’s shot at it in the head.
Referee: ‘By the way, your stuff can talk so we’re taking it’ is a conversation you can have, it just might make people angry.
T’Reth: T’Reth sits back and lets Kagin do it.
T’Reth: The stealing, that is.
Referee: The auction is being run by an Antinan, an isolationist lizard-person race. There’s a holoprojector on the floor that is creating an image of the lot currently being sold.
Referee: Right now, it is displaying a picture of an abstract statue.
Referee: There are about a dozen bidders in attendance, in a variety of races. If you knew her, you’d recognize Vivian’s mother among them.
Kagin: Oh, God.
Kagin: That’s who we’re going to be bidding against.
Dr. Wright: “According to the program, the ‘ancient funeary chamber (special transportation requirement)’ hasn’t been sold yet. It’s the only thing big enough to be, uh, what we’re looking for. Looks like we have . . . 45 minutes or so?”
Kagin: Well, let’s scope out the competition, I guess.
Kagin: Anyone of note in the audience?
Referee: Sounds like an Academics question.
Kagin: Since I’m using T’Reth’s body, can I use “Secret Section 31 Agent?”
Referee: Only if that somehow applies in this situation. I’m not sure how it would?
Kagin: Making a visual sweep for threats or people out of the ordinary?
Kagin: Seems like something an agent would be able to do quickly.
Referee: Nobody is likely to knife you in an alley if you buy something out from under them. I’ll tell you that for nothing.
Kagin: [1d6+1m6 = 2]
Referee: holy god you know how to roll positive numbers
Kagin: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT HAPPENED
Referee: You recognize Nallin, an Orion major-domo. He’s been linked to a large and varied list of crimes across 4 sectors. Nothing’s ever stuck to him, though. Also in the crowd is TharinJar, the Andorian ambassador to the Federation and a noted antiquitarian.
Kagin: Oh, let’s sit next to him.
Kagin: I like creating inter-species incidents.
Dr. Wright (quietly): “Do NOT try to flirt with anyone.”
Kagin: “Greetings, TharinJar.”
TharinJar: “Greetings . . . er . . . have we met?”
Kagin: Lt T’Reth, of the Tempest.
Kagin: We’ve met now!
Kagin: “Are you a collector?”
Seshat: “I appreciate the effort you are putting your underlings towards to preserve my existance! Several of my potential owners are . . . unpleasant. According to the publicably accessable information, at least.”
T’Reth: “Oh, don’t worry. Worst case scenario, I’ll vaporize you from orbit.”
T’Reth: T’Reth sort of mutters, leaning back in her/his chair.
TharinJar: “Ah, yes. The first officer? I believe there is going to be a reception on your ship after the repairs are complete. I would call myself more of a hobbyist than a collector.”
Kagin: “Ah, good. I’ve just recently taken an interest, so I’m an… excited hobbyist, I’d say.”
Seshat: “I don’t find this anything to joke about! I have a . . . well, I’m not 100% sure how long I have been alive. But I have a VERY long ‘living’ streak going and I don’t want that upset!”
Kagin: “Oh, pardon my manners. This is Dr Gary Wright, our CMO.”
Dr. Wright had been trying to look like he isn’t with you
T’Reth: “Incidentally…ifyou’re…software…we can just upload you.”
Seshat: “I think you overestimate your hardware! I’m the product of a vastly more intelligent culture!”
Seshat: “No offence.”
T’Reth: “Program the computer with the necessary emulation.”
Kagin: (Putting him in the ship’s computer definitely won’t result in him taking over the ship)
TharinJar: “A pleasure. I’m not sure this is the best place for a beginner, however.”
Kagin: “Well, I’ll take experience anywhere I can get it. I’m not even sure I’ll bid on anything. Are you here for a specific piece?”
‘Erica is Awesome’ connected
TharinJar: “A handful. And yourself?”
Kagin: (what does the Seshat bit actually look like right now?)
Seshat: “Do you have a system with 1290 gigaquads of space free?”
T’Reth: T’Reth checks.
Referee: The hardware? A big, decorated stone box. About 20’ tall and 10’ wide and long.
Kagin: “I’ve heard there’s a… box, I guess? It’s supposed to be amazing.”
Referee: The software? Right now, a humanoid of an unfamiliar race.
Kagin: "From what I hear, it may predate the discovery of Alpha P55-Z
TharinJar: “That’s hard to say. Because this isn’t a accredited Federation archaeological dig, no definate testing has been done. But, that’s also why it is being sold instead of going directly to a museam.”
Kagin: “Ah, so you know of it.”
Referee: If you used 100% of the free space on the Tempest . . . and the Saratoga . . . and borrowed some space from the colony’s researchers you could scrape it together.
Kagin: (holy crap. who are you?)
Vivian St.Croix: (fml, finally! updates for forEVER)
Dan: OH YEAH. I should have mentioned.
T’Reth: T’Reth passes out…as I am about to. Y’all got this under control.
T’Reth: I roll DEEP on this immersion thing
Kagin: Aww… have a good night, Nick.
T’Reth: this is what we call METHOD roleplaying
Kagin: Here’s to no hangovers.
Dan: Here’s to hilarious drunk dials.
Referee: To bring you up to speed in a hilariously incomplete fashion, the Tempest is in orbit around a federation colony undergoing repairs. You were drafted by your mother to go with her to an antiquities auction. When you come back from a trip to the bathroom, you can see Kagin (in T’Reth’s body) chatting with the Andorian ambassador.
Vivian St.Croix: I missed drunk rp? D:
Vivian St.Croix: Was this drafting via pain of death?
Vivian St.Croix: And am I aware that they’re in different bodies?
Referee: Yes and yes!
Vivian St.Croix: Just so I can avoid looking like I’ve come out of the bathroom hammered off of hand sanitizer, are we refering to people by who they are or the body they’re in?
Kagin: Outwardly? We haven’t really yet.
Kagin: Well, I guess I introduced myself as T’Reth
Referee: I dunno why you’d want to avoid that. It’s basically how Kagin has been rolling.
Kagin: Since Nick decided I was an alcoholic!
Referee: Also, any preferences for your mother’s name? I’m thinking Getrude?
Vivian St.Croix: I’m pretty sure I’m an alcoholic around family…
Referee: Drinks are plentiful.
Vivian St.Croix: Name the bat whatever you want \o/ Drinks are lovely. Unlike antique auction
Vivian St.Croix: Gertrude, Beatrice…who cares!
Kagin: Gertrude Beatrice St Croix.
Vivian St.Croix: Clearly, grandma wasn’t happy to have a kid.
Referee: Gertrude Beatrice St.Croix III
Vivian St.Croix: Are we on the ship or on the colony?
Referee: The colony.
Vivian St.Croix: And more importantly, have I ditched my mother?
Referee: It’s very nice! Tropical! You are stuck with your mother, however.
Referee: At the auction. But, if you are lucky, Kagin being here means the ship is exploding and everyone will die soon.
Vivian St.Croix: That cancels out whatever enjoyment the tropical environment can give.
Vivian St.Croix: If it gets me out of time with mother, then so be it!
Referee: Kagin, you see your captain coming out of the washroom!
Kagin: “Excuse me for a moment, Ambassador.”
Kagin: (leaving the doctor with him)
Kagin: “Captain… a word?”
Dr. Wright (quietly, as Kagin passes): “I will murder you during your physical.”
Vivian St.Croix: “As many words as you’d like, granted to bring me a drink along the way.”
Kagin: “Certainly.” (leads her to the corner of the room). “We have found an… intelligence. We’re here to buy it so it’s not sold into slavery.”
Kagin: “At least, I think that’s about what’s happening. T’Reth has more information, but I believe he’s passed out on the ship.”
Gertrude Beatrice St.Croix III: “Don’t go far, dear. There are some people it’s important for you to meet soon.”
Dan: That is an impractically long name.
Dan: Not that I’m going to change it.
Vivian St.Croix: “..I’m sorry, run that by me again. I thought you just said you found something sentient and you’re going to buy it so it doesn’t get bought by someone…”
Vivian St.Croix: So going to steer Kagin-in-T’reth somewhere AWAY from the mother unit.
Kagin: “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said.”
Kagin: “Oh, Ms St Croix. Lovely to meet you. Might I borrow your our captain for just a few more moments?”
Vivian St.Croix: “How did you find out its sentient, exactly HOW sentient is it…and how much is that likely going t—-Actually, why is it being sold in the first place?”
Kagin: “I’m not sure they know it’s sentient. Except some people who are buyers do. So we’re going to stop that. Seshat will be very grateful.”
Seshat (from right behind Vivian): “Indeed I will!”
Kagin: “Good Lord, Seshat. You have to stop doing that.”
Seshat doesn’t have mass, being a holographic projection. So his footsteps are very quiet.
Vivian St.Croix: “Sweet baby weasels! WHAT in the…”
Vivian St.Croix: “This is going to be one of those adventures that involves more expenses under tha table than lasers, isn’t it? Well. Nothing to be done about it. I guess we’re just going to have to…oh for the love of, more auctions…”
Seshat is of an unfamiliar humanoid race. Visually, at least. In the Star Trek funny forehead and ear ridges mold.
Kagin: “Seshat, this is Captain St Croix.”
Vivian St.Croix: (is he a funny color, too?)
Kagin: “Captain, this man makes an incredible appletini. So I hear.”
Seshat is a light beige now. But, as a hologram, that is customizable.
Vivian St.Croix: (lets make him rainbow~)
Vivian St.Croix: “Lovely. Then he can be my best friend for the next…half hour.”
Seshat: “Indeed I do. In addition to being the product of a civilization that makes your systems look like stone knives and bearskins , I am programmed with the mathmatically ideal recipies for thousands of drinks.”
Vivian St.Croix: “I’m not going to question how those two tihngs managed to dovetail.”
Vivian St.Croix: “Outside of that, its a pleasure to meet you, Seshat.”
Seshat: “If you your first officer’s drinking tolerance is similar to your own, you won’t be able to question it after . . . 3 appletinis, 1 black russian and a drink that has no equivalent in your culture, but loosely translates to ‘The sound of a ship breaking apart as it crosses the event horizon of a singularity’.”
Kagin: “I’ve gotta try that one.”
Vivian St.Croix: “I like the sound of that last one and honestly, I’m tempted to start there given the first part of my day. But I’ll work my way to that AFTER we keep you from getting sold.”
Seshat: “That is a very agreeable set of priorities.”
Kagin: “So, captain. Do you think your mother will be interested in a very old box that just happens to house a sentient being? ‘Cause that’s what we’re looking to buy here.”
Ecmazda is the lizardmen who dug up and is selling the goods.
Kagin: (does he know the last part of his name is a car brand?)
Referee: (He does not.)
Vivian St.Croix: (We need to call him Mazda and claim language barriers)
Vivian St.Croix: “I’m sure you could talk her into it…T’reth.”
Kagin: “Oh, no no. If your stories are anything to be believed, I’m inclined to have as little interaction with your mother as… ahem… humanly possible.”
Referee: In addition to your mother and the ambassador, the other big spender here is an Orion crimelord named Nallin. Implicated in a lot, but nothing’s ever stuck to him.
Referee: What is your plan?
Kagin: To try to outbid everyone.
Kagin: But… I’m pretty sure that will result in being mugged.
Referee: Well, you’ve got those particular NPCs in the way of accomplishing that!
Vivian St.Croix: Talk Kagin into talking to Mother Dearest into winning the bid. That failing, I guess sell another piece of my soul and ask it as a favor.
Dan: “YOU NEVER SHOWED UP AT MY 16TH BIRTHDAY I HATE YOUR FOREVER but buy me a talking computer box please? kthx.”
Referee: Well, how are you going about this, “T’Reth”?
Kagin: No, no. We have the money.
Kagin: I still think transporting the damned thing is an option.
Kagin: T’Reth just doesn’t have the technical know-how to coordinate it.
Dan: The problem there is that ‘go to the transporter room and solve all the problems’ is boring. So there will be something in the way!
Referee: What is Kagin doing, though!
Kagin: Well, let’s go back and talk to the Ambassador.
Kagin: Wait… wait… hey, uh… Seshat.
Vivian St.Croix: Kagin is going to get more monies from the mother.
Vivian St.Croix: Oh wait…Seshat’s got super progarming, right?
Kagin: Can you make your ‘shell’ appear broken or something?
Referee: “Sadly, my holograms are limited to humanoid forms. I don’t think that helps?”
Kagin: Why aren’t we just stealing it? That would hurt the chances of T’Reth’s secret society getting it?
Dan: Stealing it is totally an option.
Kagin: “Okay, new idea.”
Kagin: “Seshat, how does the device interact with quantum entanglement?”
Seshat: “I have no idea. Mostly because I have no idea what that is.”
Vivian St.Croix: “You’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, aren’t you?”
Kagin: “When I was in Starfleet, I helped a friend of mine with his doctorate thesis on this. I THINK I can jury rig our transporter to … well, transport.”
Vivian St.Croix: “Normally I’d protest against that, but since it would necessitate a hasty departure, I find myself a little more find of that idea.”
Kagin: “But instead of moving the atoms, we can just adjust the tachyon field and the device will cease to be here, and exist on the cargo deck instead.”
Kagin: “Kagin to Tempest engineering.”
Ensign Roman: “Yes, sir?”
Kagin: “Could you transport three tachyon emitters, four class 3 phase emitters and about 3kg of antimatter in a Tyson shell to the coordinates I’m about to give you?”
Vivian St.Croix: “Please tell me you have a better location for this than the bathroom.”
Ensign Roman: “Uh, yes ma’am.”
Kagin: “I do, yeah. The backside of the warehouse.”
Kagin: “Okay, Ensign. Transmitting coordinates now. Can you also ask Simmons to get himself to the transporter room and contact me when he’s arrived?”
Ensign Roman: “Will do.”
Kagin: “Come on, Seshat. I’ll amuse you with our views of how matter works on the way to the warehouse.”
Kagin: (Kagin heads to the warehouse, explaining quantum entanglement on the way to Seshat)
Seshat: “Oh, I can go with you and stay here. I’m not limited to one physical location, like you are. I don’t know how you manage, by the way.”
Vivian St.Croix: Yeah, going with.
Vivian St.Croix: Because a Captain has to oversee this kind of thing and unfortunatly, that trumps auction time with mommy.
Referee: The auction is progressing merrily along while you confer. Seshat’s physical form only has 15ish minutes before it comes up for sale, at this rate anyway.
Kagin: (how long does it take to get to the warehouse?)
Referee: Oh, about 15 minutes. Less if you sprint.
Vivian St.Croix: Balls. If its that close, I’ll stick around. Try to drag out bidding if Kagin takes too long.
Kagin: “If that thing disappears while it’s up for auction, it’s going to cause quite the stir.”
Kagin: “Which reminds me… Seshat. If we transport you up to the ship, can you… go silent, hibernate or otherwise make yourself undetectable? I don’t want a police scanner to find you on our ship after we steal you.”
Kagin: “And stealing you, then hightailing it is SO obvious.”
Vivian St.Croix: But SO awesomely outlaw.
Kagin: “Captain… we’re not outlaws!”
Seshat: “. . . yes?”
Vivian St.Croix: “I know, I know….some days though…Make it as fast as you can. I’ll find mother and stall bidding or at least keep the bidding going.”
Referee: Why don’t we call it here and have the improvised heist next week. I’m flagging somewhat on this end.
Referee: Also, the shocking cliff-hanger.